A Tribute to the Biscuit Lady

My family is from Southern stock - when it came time to go off to college, there was no real question that I was going to head for a muggier climate. I spent the next four years stuffing my face with pulled pork, smoked sausages, and country fried steak. Meals varied from Sunday sit-down affairs to late-night post-booze Waffle House sessions. Anything and everything was on offer, but the glue of Southern cuisine, the staple of staples, is a hot buttermilk biscuit. Stick some fried chicken in it, tear it in half and fill it with jam, or drown it in gravy - Southerners can eat them at all hours of the day. And I can't blame them - I could eat a meal of just biscuits and fixings.

Even in a region where everyone grows up making biscuits, Carol Fay Ellison was known as one of the best. She worked at The Loveless Cafe, a Southern food mecca and former motel on the southwest outskirts of Nashville. She began working there at age 18 and turned a respected Southern restaurant into a place known by and large for the best biscuits around. Hell, the Loveless has excellent country ham, steak, and chops, but you'd never know that from all the breathless attention that the biscuits received from Frommer's, Bobby Flay, and Good Morning America. She was also an outsized personality who fiercely defended the secrecy of her recipe. Watch her make biscuits like a spy guarding nuclear secrets:

Clearly Carol Fay never got sick of personally making and baking dozens of pans of biscuits every day. She took the menial job of chugging out a side dish and turned it into a cult of personality. And damn if her preserves weren't amazing too.

Carol Fay died last week, and though I'd only ever known her through her food and her TV appearances, I felt sad that we'd lost such a popular and passionate advocate of Southern food. It wasn't healthy, and it wasn't trendy. It was just the solid, delicious food that I'd grown up eating.

Next up, yours truly will teach you the secrets of Southern biscuits.

Citrus Chicken Roll

Unless you’re at a Middle Ages themed restaurant with jousters, grilling is the only time where it’s okay to eat with your hands. Which is a shame - there's just something about hamburger juice running down your hands and barbeque sauce on your cheeks. Who needs plates and utensils? Most of the time we grillers will throw on chicken legs, wings, or - if we have the time - smoke an entire chicken. The bone and skin helps the meat keep its juices.

So you want to impress your party, friends or in-laws with your grilling skills and they only eat chicken and won’t touch food with their hands (yeah, lame I know). Throwing some legs smothered in barbeque sauce may be tasty, but isn’t an aesthetically appealing dish. Attempting to cook boneless skinless chicken breasts without proper technique usually ends up in a dry flavorless dish. Instead, prepare them a Citrus Chicken Roll – not only is it nice looking sliced up on a plate – it’s actually moist and great tasting. The citrus from the chicken pairs great with Red Stripe or Corona.

The Setup



4 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1/4 c fresh lemon juice
2 tbsp olive oil
1 tbsp butter
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
1/3 c finely chopped fresh Italian parley
2 tbsp grated Parmesan cheese
2 tbsp shredded Asiago cheese
1 tsp finely grated lemon peel
2 large cloves garlic, minced
16 toothpicks, soaked in water for at least 15 minutes

Cooking


1. Pound chicken to 3/8 inch thickness and place into 11x7 casserole dish.



2. Combine lemon juice, 1 tablespoon olive oil, salt and pepper and pour over the chicken. Make sure chicken is coated in mixture and marinate in refrigerator at least 30 minutes.

3. Prepare grill for 3 zone cooking (High, Medium, Low).

4. Combine parsley, cheeses, chives, lemon peel, butter, garlic and 1 tablespoon olive oil in small bowl. Throw out the chicken marinade. Spread 1/4 of parsley mixture over each chicken breast, leaving around an inch around the edges.

5. Starting at narrow end, roll chicken to enclose filling and secure with toothpicks.

6. Grill chicken over high heat, covered, for 2 minutes on each side. Move chicken over to medium zone and cook until done. If chicken starts to brown move to cooler zone. Cooking time is 20-30 minutes.

7. Let rest, squirt lemon juice over, remove toothpicks and eat with a Red Stripe.

Bleu Cheese & Steak Pizza

Everyone likes steak, and everyone likes pizza. Unless you're a communist, then you probably only like food that's of someone else's labor, and free for the taking. In fact, you're probably a dumpster diver, which means you never get steak or pizza, because only a retard would throw those out.
These two delightful food groups encompass the two most-craved items in my house, so I figured, why not get them together and see what kind of hot action ensues?

The Set-up


1 yellow onion
1 lb top sirloin steak
1 refrigerated pizza crust
1.5 C Italian cheese (I used Sargento 6 cheese blend)
1 8 oz container bleu cheese crumbles
2-4 cloves garlic, minced
Olive oil
salt & pepper




Cooking
You absolutely have to start with caramelizing your onions, because doing it right takes a good 20 minutes. Heat some oil over medium and once it's ready, throw in your thinly sliced onions with a heavy pinch of salt. Make sure they're all coated with the fat and turn the heat to low. When caramelizing onions, heed the sage advice of the Beastie Boys: "Slow and low, that is the tempo!" Keep them low and stir frequently so that they don't burn. They'll start like this:

And end like this:

You can actually keep browning them and release serious sweetness superpower, but keep in mind they'll cook a bit more in the oven when they're on the pizza. So, don't get overzealous.

While the onions finish up, roll out your crust into any desired shape (Millennium Falcon not recommended) and bake it at 425 for just under 10 minutes. Now time for more multi-tasking!
while your crust gets started, work on your steak. Season the sirloin with salt and pepper and if you can't grill it, cook it in a cast-iron skillet over med-high heat for 3 minutes on each side for a good, solid medium.

I wouldn't suggest going too well-done, because the steak will continue cooking in the oven later, but you could always go more rare. A word of advice, though - the ooze that's normally coveted out of a rare steak is going to be all over your pie if you do.
Remove your steak quickly and slice it, so that it doesn't continue cooking. Cut on the bias so you can actually bite through it when you're eating the 'za.



Grab your pizza crust from the oven and start assembling your base (which I need not remind you, are still belong to us). Drizzle between 1/2 and 1/4 cup of olive oil as your sauce, and top that off by spreading your minced garlic around. You can throw in a few herbs here, like basil & oregano. Next, add your Italian cheeses. You're not going for delivery-style pie here, so go easy on the cheesy. Now it's time to add your very sexy, long-awaited caramelized onions. If someone in your house is a big sissy about onions, you can do what I did and only add them to half of the pizza. Finally, add all of your bleu cheese crumbles, then your sliced sirloin and pop it back into the 425 oven for another 5-10 minutes, watching it carefully because the crumbles can burn quickly.

Then, it's time to bask in the glory of one of the tastiest pizzas you've ever had. Go ahead, pat yourself on the back, you smug bastard.

Roasted Tomato-Jalapeno Salsa

Part of what we're all about at Man B Que is taking a shot at making the things you might ordinarily pick up from the store without a thought. Sure, you could just pick up a tub of shredded pork, a shrink-wrapped package of sausages, or a bottle of BBQ sauce at the Jewel. But the real thing usually ends up as the more rewarding option.

Today is no different. Sure, you could go and pick up a jar of salsa for a few bucks. But why make do with a watery bell pepper and ketchup mess when you can roast your own ripe vegetables and make a delicious salsa that will punch your tongue in it's tongue-face? This recipe comes from a Rick Bayless book I came across. Like everything else in that book, it's just packed with flavor. With tomato season slowly approaching, this is the perfect time to practice for amazing batches of salsa during the harvest.

The Setup

1 lb ripe tomatoes
2 large jalapenos, or 3 serranos
3 large garlic cloves, unpeeled
2 oz white onion (1/2 of a small onion), diced
1/3 c chopped cilantro
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 tsp cider vinegar

Cooking

1. Cover a cast iron pan with aluminum foil and heat over medium for a few minutes until the pan is evenly heated through.



2. Roast the tomatoes, garlic, and jalapenos until blackened and roasted through - 10 minutes for tomatoes and jalapenos, and an extra 5 for the garlic. Remove to cool.

3. Once cool, peel the garlic and throw the cloves into a food processor along with de-stemmed jalapenos and 1/4 tsp salt. Pulse, pausing to scrape the sides, until a coarse paste forms.



4. Peel the tomatoes over a bowl, reserving the juices. Add the tomatoes and juices to the food processor. Pulse with garlic/jalapeno paste until a chunky puree forms. Don't over-process, unless you want a thinner salsa.



5. Transfer the salsa to a bowl. Stir in diced onion, cilantro, remaining salt, and cider vinegar. Check seasoning.

It's really good if you allow the flavors to blend at room temperature for about an hour. Or you can just eat it right away - you've got no self control in the first place.

Down with the Supergroups!

I have been currently really into Them Crooked Vultures. It’s in my car and along with the new Black Rebel Motorcycle Club album and I just can’t stop listening to it. I recently introduced the album to a friend of mine who has been a bit out of the music scene since becoming a dad. I told him the line-up he asked me if it was "some new rock supergroup.” The first thought that came to mind was a picture of the Damn Yankees.



Well, does Them Crooked Vultures qualify as another supergroup? No, not at all. For some reason the label of supergroup really leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth. When I think supergroup, I think Velvet Revolver. It’s a pretty simple formula: shitty, pop rock ballads, skinny, ex-junkie musicians sobering up enough to convince other washed up, currently “between project,” ex-awesome musicians that their “addiction demons” are behind them and they are, “ready to rock.”. Throw them in a boiling rock cauldron and you’ve got yourself a “supergroup.” The thing about these so-called supergroups is, they suck. Starting a supergroup is never a good idea. It’s a result of egos not letting the body and person move into something outside of the limelight. Become a producer, direct music videos, stay in music but don’t, A. Join a supergroup or B.“TRY A SOLO PROJECT.” (See also: Sting. That’s just another can of worms for a future rant)



What’s even worse than supergroups are the pseudo-supergroups. Think Audioslave. This is a bizarre existence. For the cynical music fan like me, this is like a bad acid trip. Imagine going to a show where Rage Against the Machine comes out with Chris Cornell. Whoa, it’s like the '90s vomited on stage! In theory, this is awesome, but in reality, it sucks. The band no longer rocks out like Rage used to and Chris Cornell’s vocals are out of place. This is a square peg going into a round hole - it does not fit. The whole show is spent thinking about how if they did one thing or another more like Rage or Soundgarden it would be perfect. But they’re not, so it falls flat and fails.

This should have been a one night thing. Like a live band karaoke where Rage was the guest band and Chris Cornell happened to be at the same bar so he decided to get up and sing a few songs. (Preferably "Sister Christian" or ANY Black Flag, Ramones or ABBA song) Instead, they put out albums and toured. So you got to see Soundgarden live, cool. You once caught Rage Against the Machine on tour, nice. You purchased and Audioslave cd and/or saw them perform, you’re an idiot.


It’s time to stand up and say “enough with the Supergroups!” *


*Acceptable, sort-of Supergroups: Me First and the Gimme Gimmies and Probot.

BBQ Root Beer Pork

"Crock Pot" ...

That phrase doesn't exactly conjure the image of men grilling out, smoking cigars, and drinking beer. But it happened, and actually it was green beer, around St. Patrick’s Day. Men do use crock pots - and why not? The food is ready when you get home from work, and it’s an easy process, requiring you to do roughly nothing between returning from the grind and consuming a good meal with a cold beer. Of course there are many recipes as complex as assembling a small engine – but who needs those? I say keep it simple. Italian beef – keeping it simple.
Cornish hens – simple. Ten-layer tortilla stack - not simple.

As we were talking about our recipes that dreary St. Paddy's weekend, it became clear that men like meat cooked slowly, cut up, and placed on some sort of bread. Not exactly a revelation, but an important realization.

Here may be the most uncomplicated recipe for slow cooked pulled pork I have ever come across courtesy of Michael "Tripod" Palm from the Chicago Western Burbs Man B Que Chapter. It doesn’t require a rub, hours of loading coals into a smoker or grill, making of a sauce, or the need to call your butcher for a pig. I say let your neighbors smell the delicious swine all day, then tell them “yes I like pig, and no you can’t have any.”

The Setup



1 bottle quality root beer
Pork tenderloin or loin
1 bottle BBQ sauce
Salt and pepper
Buns

I’ve tried to keep things in a Chicago theme by using Goose Island
root beer and Sweet Baby Ray’s BBQ sauce.

Cooking




1. Trim fat from pork and place in crock pot.



2.Pour bottle of root beer over pork. Season the meat with salt and pepper.



3. Cook on low for 7-8 hours.



4. Shred pork and mix with BBQ Sauce. Serve on a bun alongside chips and potato salad.

Yes, it really is that easy. As you can see from the pictures I only used ½ of the loin that is
shown in the set up shot. I probably could have cut the loin in half and fit it, but then I’d be eating pork sandwiches for a week.

- Death Toll Scholl

Buena Vista Chops w/Citrus Sauce

Editor's Note: This piece marks the debut of Man B Que's newest writer, Vizz. She (yes, that's right, she) will be sharing meat-centric recipes on a weekly-ish basis. Her excellent blog, Food vs. Face, can be found here.

When springtime rolls around, young men's thoughts turn to those of fancy (read: boners), but mine turn to food. As much as I would love to be grilling, my precious has a defective valve and I have to improvise. A food fare that incorporates much of my favorite animal (the pig), as well as bold (but not spicy) flavors and doesn't necessarily require a grill hails from the home of Castro, cigars as long as your arm, dominoes and the guyabera.

I've been known to keep a brick in the kitchen for making Cuban sandwiches and thumping hobos, so while the press-sandwich is easy and tempting, I wanted to experiment. Or, how do they say in Cuba, "prostituta?"

The set-up

Chops:
1 C corn flake crumbs
1 clove minced/crushed garlic
1 tbsp cilantro, finely chopped
1 tsp onion powder
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp cumin
1/4 pepper
2 tsp orange zest
4 pork loin chops (boneless or bone-in)
1/2 C buttermilk

Sauce:
olive oil
1/2 C fresh lime juice
4 tbsp orange juice
2 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp cilantro, finely chopped
honey or agave nectar to taste

Cooking

1. Preheat your oven to 400. Combine all of the dry ingredients for the chops (corn flake crumbs, seasonings, orange zest) in a shallow bowl. Fill another shallow dish with the buttermilk.
Prep in advance note: If you have time, let the chops sit in the buttermilk in the fridge for an hour or two. It's the same tenderizing process used in most Southern fried chicken.

2. Dip the pork chops into the buttermilk (if not already marinated in it), then into the crumb mixture on both sides. Use your hands to pack the crumbs onto both sides tightly.

3. Delicately* place them on a lightly oiled baking sheet and bake for 25-40 minutes, depending on the thickness of your chops. *Delicately (adv): Using extreme caution and care, like when you called your mom from jail.

They may look good enough to eat already, but it's worth the wait if you want to avoid worms.

While your pork is in the oven, get crackin' on your sauce, as it needs to be cooled in the refrigerator before serving.

4. Heat about 2 tbsp olive oil in a small saucepan over medium heat. Saute the garlic until it's just barely golden brown. Add your orange and lime juices, increase the heat a bit and bring it to a boil. Simmer for about 5 minutes. If you have honey or agave nectar on hand, add it while the sauce is simmering.

5. Remove from heat, add your cilantro, and stir to combine everything. I had a little orange zest left, so I threw that in as well.

6. Divvy into ramekins or one big sauce dish and refrigerate until your chops are done.

If you have extra thick pork chops, it's not a bad idea to check the internal temp to make sure it's reached 160 before serving.